Clear Devotion, Part 3

Clark had Chloe pressed against the wall of the pool house. Her legs were wrapped around his hips, her body pressing against his straining erection, her hands wrapped around his neck and grabbing at the fabric of his shirt. The ferocity with which she was kissing him really made Clark regret spurning her advances the night before.

The fact that the cheerleaders had nefarious plans was still nagging him in the back of his mind, and he had every intention of resolving this problem, but right now, it was simply not a priority.

Chloe’s tank top was so tight that Clark had trouble getting a grip on it. Chloe obviously did not have this problem, as she was easily able to lift both Clark’s shirt of his back and slip off her tank top in a matter of seconds, while still leg-wrapped around his torso. Underneath she wore a scandalously-low-cut red tankini top showed the vast majority of her midriff and cleavage. Clark did not miss this.

Alas, his viewing time was cut short as Chloe started kissing him again. Almost of their own volition, Clark’s hands began to feel up Chloe, starting with her lean but soft waist. Gentle squeezes of her sides caused involuntary thrusts that pushed her father and farther up until lip contact could no longer be sustained. Instead, Chloe wrapped her arms around Clark’s head, giving him access to her throat. His lips roamed downward, exploring the vast region of exposed skin on Chloe’s neck.

His tongue explored lower and lower, until it finally was forced to slip under the fabric of her top to continue its expedition. It was mere millimeters from some very engaging attractions, but those visits would not be possible without a little less clothing.

She reached down and grazed Clark’s chiseled abs and hooked her fingers around the tie-cord bow of Clark’s suit. She looked up, making eye contact, wordlessly alerting Clark of her next move. His hands obediently found themselves manipulating the shoelace knot behind Chloe’s neck.

Seconds later, both knots were undone. Clark’s suit slipped down to rest low on his hip bone and the strings of Chloe’s top now lay limp across her chest, allowing the fabric to fold over perilously low over her breasts.

“Okay,” Lois voice called out, “that’s quite far enough!”

Part 4 coming soon...

Clear Devotion, Part 2

That damn slut of a cousin of mine is completely hogging all Clark’s time. And he’s in a freakin’ bathing suit, too! Oh, well, I’ll have time for him later. Let’s just get a few things straight, won’t we, cuz?

“I want you to understand something, Lois, Clark’s mine,” Chloe greeted her cousin.

Lois turned, blindsided, “Geez, Chlo, what are you doing here? And in that?” Lois remarked of Chloe low-cut, forming-fitting yellow tank and red hot pants.

“I’m keeping my boy-stealing cousin from taking the love of my life.”

“Chloe, for the last time, zero interest in Clark,” she remarked, pointing at herself, “And I thought I told you, you’re not yourself. You drank some of that Gatorade.”

“Lois,” Chloe cut her off, “I know. And that stuff didn’t make me fall in love with Clark. I was already in love with Clark.”

Lois began to gently explain, “You’re not in love with Clark. He’s this boy that you’ve had a crush on…”

But as Chloe had no time for this, Lois was left talking to herself. She spun around to give Chloe a piece of her mind, only to be approached by a rather broad-shouldered linebacker holding a plastic cup of what appeared to be green beer. “So, I couldn’t help but notice that you were here with Clark Kent.”

“Oh, please, Clark’s parents are just giving me a place to stay. I have no time for that farmboy.”

With a wide grin, the football player responded lavishly, “I like the sound of that.”

“Look, buddy,” Lois snapped, poking the flirter in the chest, “I’m here on a very important mission.” She poked him again. “Not bad…” she remarked, appreciation in her voice. After a moment of debate, she looked over her admirer’s shoulder, commenting to herself, “Oh, well, she’s a lovesick puppy. Can’t get herself into too much trouble, can she?” She turned to the linebacker, and asked, “So, what position do you play? In football?”

Meanwhile, Chloe had tracked down Clark, who was currently eyeing Mandy Walsh. “What’s she got that I don’t?” Chloe asked quite pointedly.

Clark spun. “Chloe, what are you doing here?”

“It’s a party for football players and cheerleaders. I’m a cheerleader.” Luckily, Mandy didn’t seem to have overheard.

“Don’t remind me,” Clark remarked sarcastically.

“Here,” Chloe said as she handed Clark a plastic cup, who eyed it warily, “don’t worry, it’s just punch. Non-alcoholic. And it’s not that nasty Gatorade stuff that made you sick today.”

Clark was momentarily touched that Chloe had noticed, before realizing it was probably only her devotion that made her notice. He sniffed it. It smelled really good. He usually preferred orange to cherry, but this stuff smelled really good, so he took a tip before he started lecturing Chloe. “Chloe, Mandy is drugging the football players to make them devoted slaves. I’m just trying to…”

All at once, Clark began to doubt that the punch was non-alcoholic, given the buzz he’d gotten from it. Though, that would be impossible since he was immune to alcohol. Unless there was… it can’t be!

Clark set the drink down, but the damage was done. His conscience was clouding. It wasn’t the same rush as when he wore the ring, but…

God, this feels good!

All of a sudden, he realized that the whole love-slave football player devotion was not such an urgent matter. Chloe was standing here, obviously still on the effects of the Gatorade. Honestly, Chloe was quite a pretty girl. And probably a lot more sexually adventurous than that prude Lana. Well, Lana did have that quality, but honestly, is she really worth it?

Okay, enough thinking, Clark thought as he eyed Chloe. “So, we’re at a party. Got any ideas?”

“Oh, do I, farmboy… do I.”

Part 3

Clear Devotion

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4 coming soon...

Author's Commentary: Going back to my roots with some fanfiction. For reasons, you'll soon discover, this is not the type of story that can be filmed. Between watchdog groups, network decency standards, and actor contract clauses, it's just not possible. It's a little different since I'm colleagues with the people portraying my characters, but as one of them recently confided in me: "Dude, people out there have my character doing the naughtiest things. One more's not gonna offend me."

Anyway, this takes place during Season 4's "Devoted." It's a pretty straightforward alternate take. It will get itself a tad tawdry after a few parts, but I've been trying to develop myself as a writer, and Amy, one of my editors, has been on my case to polish my prose. Then again, she may have meant it as a double entendre (she's like that). So, this is the result. Enjoy or boo.

Clear Devotion: Part 1

Decked out in a cheerleader’s outfit, Chloe studied the object of her affection. Clark Kent, the second-string, soon to be starting, quarterback of the Smallville High Crows was positively limping onto the field. Her voice may have been filled with excited cheers, but inside her brain, the gears were turning.

Earlier that day, Lois had mentioned a theory she had about the Gatorade. It was a very intriguing theory, and had her focused not been shifted to much more important things, like the ailing of her true love, she’d pursue it. Except now it didn’t seem like such a bad idea. While the other football players had become more devoted to their girlfriends as a result of the Gatorade, Clark seemed to get sick by drinking it. Chloe knew never to second guess anything green in Smallville. No doubt the cheerleaders had put meteor rock in the drink. Extensive study of the rock indicated it wasn’t lethal. It did have an effect on exposure, usually involving the development of a superhuman ability. But the football players weren’t developing powers, unless true devotion to a significant other was a power. It was an amazing virtue, one that Chloe was proud to possess, but it was not a superhuman ability.

Last night, Clark had a most distasteful reaction to Chloe’s advances in the loft. While he seemed okay making out for a while, he definitely stopped short of second base. Phooey, though Chloe. He could use a refreshing beverage that inclined him towards more noble pursuit, like love. Or sex. Sex was a very noble pursuit; a pursuit that Chloe really wished she had been better at pursuing.

Well, the right thing to do is quite obvious now, isn’t it, Sullivan?

* * *

“I want you to make more Gatorade with this,” Chloe remarked, handing Mandy a small chuck of red meteor rock.

“Excuse me?” Mandy replied, eyeing Chloe up and down distastefully.

“Look, I know you’ve been spiking the football players’ Gatorade with meteor rock and phenylethylamine, effectively making your boyfriends love slaves.”

“You threatening to report me?” Mandy replied.

“Are you not listening to me? I want you to make more so that I can hook Clark.”

Mandy took the golf ball-sized crystal. “Any reason you want cherry instead of lime?”

“As if it’s any of your business, but I think Clark had an adverse reaction. That’s the stuff they made our class rings out us, and since he wore it, I know he’s not allergic.”

“So, what I’m hearing,” Mandy recapped, “if I make you some cherry delight to hook the quarterback, you won’t report me?”

“Glad we understand each other.”

“You know I’ll only be able to make about a pitcher’s worth with this much.”

“It’s all I need. One more thing.”

“You’re pushing it, Blondie.”

“It’s just a little thing. I’m coming to the party.”

Mandy looked her over again. “On one condition: you stop pretending you joined the cheerleading squad. I need that uniform back.”

Part 2

Imperative

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3 coming soon...

Author's Commentary: I think I stole this idea from EllyF. In fact, I steal a lot of ideas from EllyF, because she's a good source of good ideas. Anyway, sorry, Elly, I'll stop if you mind.

Anyway, this is my other naughty Chlark fic that I'm working on. I'm doing all this on the assumption that if I have enough irons on the fire that enough people will criticize me for never updating and I'll have the drive to update. Brilliant logic, huh?

Anyway, this takes place during "Zod", and like "Clear Devotion", is an alternate take, which is kind of like an alternate universe but everything doesn't change. You could say I stole that idea from Elly, too, from her "My Happy Ending" set, though really it's what we all do when we watch episodes that go wrong. "Labyrinth", for example.

Anyway, it's come to the point in the show where you read the actual story instead of listening to my rambling.

Imperative, Part 1

The Daily Planet had already dubbed it “Dark Thursday” on account that the loss of power had only lasted twelve hours. It was amazing how skittish people were, the moment the lights went out, Metropolis became a war zone. When they all came back on, everybody came back to work as if the only thing that had happened was… a half-day blackout.

Chloe stood at her desk. She had changed into the extra set of clothes she kept in the locker room, and was waiting for Jimmy to come back with news of the vending machine. She was wringing her hands, and it wasn’t because she was afraid that the machine would be all out of Doritos.

But when Clark Kent walked in, his hair a little disheveled, she forgot all about what’s-his-name and whatever the heck he went to check on. “Clark,” she said, her voice nearly caught in her throat. She stumbled around her desk and nearly ran to Clark. She would have if it weren’t for her damn ankle. “Oh my God. I thought you were dead.” She grabbed him around the neck and hugged him tightly, causing him to lean over to accommodate her height.

Hugging her back, he replied, “Hi. Um, so did I… for awhile there.”

She reluctantly unhooked herself, and her pained face close, and whispered, “What happened? Where did you go?”

Gravely, he answered, “A place I never want to go again.” He held onto her waist, keeping her near, even though she showed no intention of backing up. He tilted his head forward, and asked with concern, “Are you okay?”

Chloe smiled as big and as brightly and joyously as Clark had ever seen. She answered, “Yeah, everything’s great now that you’re here.” She hugged him again and held him for a long time, relishing in his safety. He, too, leaned into the embrace.

“We’re safe,” he commented.

Under her breath, she asked, “What did you do about Zod?”

“He promised me he’d protect the ones I loved if I joined him. So, I accepted.” He face remained neutral.

“Clark…” she said, incredulous, pulling away from him, “you… what? You betrayed us?” Somehow, she couldn’t get herself to believe it.

“It’s more like, I betrayed him. I took a trip to the Fortress before I went to see him. Turns out Jor-El keeps quite a few anti-possession knives lying around. I stabbed him in the stomach when he wasn’t looking. Zod’s gone and Lex is expected to recover.”

Chloe stood stunned and speechless.

“What?” he replied, smirking, “A good savior of the world needs to think on his feet.”

“You thought of all of this by yourself?”

“No, I had a little help.”

Chloe tilted her head, an indication that she was in curious-reporter mode, but Clark cut her off.

“I want to show you something.” He held out his hand, and she took it. He led her out of the room, neither of them seeing Jimmy Olsen standing ten feet away watching them leave with several vending machine-sized bags of chips in his hand, wondering who the hell “Zod” was.

Chapter 2

NSVC: Somebody Saved by the Bell

AG: Saved by the Bell.

AM: Uh, too late, we’re all out of college.

MM: Then the College Years.

ED: ‘Cause that spin-off worked so well.

TW: None of our characters are in college.

AM: (defensively) Chloe is.

ED: Really?

AM: (insistent) Yes.

AG: Really? College is stupid.

AM: No, Chloe is going to college, dammit. It’s just boring to film, so we always show her at the Planet.

MM: That sounds familiar.

AM: You said it. In an interview.

MM: Oh, we don’t actually write what we tell interviewers. Why do you think we have a writing staff?

AM: Up until now, I thought it was to write a television show, but this is revealing none the less.

AG: Anyway, everyone’s going back to college.

TW: I thought you said college was boring.

AG: It is. It’s all going to take place in the dorm rooms.

ED: Naughty.

AM: I hope it’s not really going to be about just that.

MM: Well, Ostroff did kind of hint that way.

AM: I doubt she meant we should indiscriminately jump into bed with one another.

MM: I think those were her exact words.

AG: Well, and various guest stars.

AM: Look, you can’t make a show completely about sex.

ED: Coupling.

TW: Sex and the City.

MR: Doogie Howser.

KK: I’m not even going to…

AM: Look, go ahead with your endless strings and permutation of relationships. It’s not like I could stop you anyway.

TW: True.

MR: True.

ED: Very true.

KK: I’m going to have to invest in some serious chap stick.

MR: And breath mints. (KK smacks him)

AM: But there can be other sets. The student union.

MM: But…

AM: Look, you can’t introduce new characters by having them wander into our dorm room.

AG: Well, there goes Episode 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 14, 15, 19, 20, 21 and the first two-thirds of Season 2.

AM: But they can meet in the student union. Like normal people. Sex can then move into the dorm room.

MR: Who says it has to move?

AG: I like the way you think, Michael.

AM: God damn you, Rosenbaum.

MM: She’s right, though.

AM: What about a library set?

MM: Boring.

AM: But…

ED: Choose your battles, Alli.

AM: Can I twist your arms into a fraternity or a sorority?

AG: Done and done.

AM: How about a classroom?

MM: Boring.

AM: How about the hallway outside a classroom?

MM: How’s that more exciting?

AM: (lamely) More opportunities to meet potential love interests. (she snaps a pencil in half)

AG: Hey, not half bad.

TW: I think we’ve come to the point of the show when we try to guess which character from Saved By the Bell you’re equating us with, even though I’m sure we’ve come to the point when it’s really unnecessary. I mean in this setting, the characters can kind of function on their own.

KK: (blurts out) Lana is Kelly.

AG: Good job. (with sincerity; to MM) We should have brought candy.

KK: I’m not 5!

MR: Well, I’ve narrowed down myself and Clark being Zack and Slater.

AA: Jimmy’s Screech. Let’s just throw that out there. And we can skip five minutes of jokes at my expense.

AM: I’ll save you, Aaron. Chloe’s obviously Jessie.

ED: Height issues aside.

AM: I’m short. You’re tall. How deep can this go?

ED: Way to take the wind from my sails, Alli.

AM: (dryly) The guilt is crushing, I assure you.

ED: Wait, does that leave me being the token black chick with a fashion obsession? What was her name?

AA: Dude, I don’t remember. Ow. Harsh.

TW: It’s quite telling that we forget the minority character.

MR: Seriously? Her name was Lisa Turtle. She was played by actress Lark Voorhies.

KK: Michael. Just… never mind.

AA: So, two fashion-obsessed teens on the same show?

AM: Our generation was apparently very shallow.

ED: I can’t say much for the current one. They hired me to be Lois Lane for more than my acting skills.

AM: I’m wondering how much how much your acting experience factored in.

ED: Excuse me, I had numerous television and film roles before I joined this show.

AM: So did I! And I was a child actor. I’ve been doing this since I was five. I didn’t have to wait until my boobs grew in to get my start.

TW: Should we get involved?

MR: Shh! They’re talking about boobs.

ED: You have an online name for your boobs.

AM: That’s better than online speculation about whether mine are real. There are two people on this show whose breasts are talked about.

AoT: That’s a good point. My breasts are never discussed.

MR: I’ll discuss them with you. I think they’re wonderful.

AoT: Is this conversation inevitably going to veer towards Cat People?

MR: It’s funny you should mention Cat People…

(TW chuckles to himself in his seat)

ED: Hold it. If I’m Lisa, doesn’t that mean Jimmy has a crush on me?

TW: Jimmy would have a crush on you.

AM: He would not. He’s dating Chloe. Why should he be interested in Lois?

ED: Why would Lois become interested in Clark knowing her cousin was in love with him?

AM: She wouldn’t. She’s interested in Clark first and… stop bringing up scenarios where the Chlois Theory fixes everything.

TW: Online, they call the Jimmy/Lois relationship J-Lo.

ED: Oh my gaw, that totally makes me want to have sex with Jimmy.

AA: Erica, please don’t personify your character. It makes me have thoughts I shouldn’t have with a married woman.

ED: Dammit, David Palffy, why do you ruin all my fantasies? And why is your last name Palffy? Have I really been Mrs. Palffy for two years?

AM: Erica, please, it’s weird enough when Michael forget he’s not Lex Luthor.

MR: What are you talking about? I am Lex Luthor. I am bald and sexy. I have a yacht and a private jet. Who wants to have sex with me? How ‘bout you, Martha Kent?

AoT: Oh, boy, don’t I wish. (tickles him under the chin)

TW: Annette, don’t encourage him. It’s skeevy.

AG: I think you have point there. Lex Luthor gets it on with cougar professor.

MR: Dude, can we bring in Jane Seymour? I totally should have been in Wedding Crashers.

KK: That would be problematic. Doesn’t anyone recall when I stabbed Genevieve Teague through the heart?

MR: More like the boob.

AoT: Even Seymour’s breasts get talked about. (to AG and MM) Can I be that cougar professor?

TW: I don’t think that’s a good idea.

MM: Sorry, Tom, but think that’s a fabulous idea.

TW: (to AM) Nothing good comes from these sessions.

AM: You’re preaching to the choir.

TW: I guess you’re the only sane one in here.

KK: Excuse me?

TW: Point taken. My apologies, Kristin. But you did sit beside Michael.

KK: Michael sits beside me.

MR: And I think you know why.

KK: (to AG and MM) Since I don’t even have to ask, we’re starting the season with Lexana so we can get it over with.

AG: Done.

MM: Your wish is our command.

AM: (to KK) I should just run things through you.

KK: You know I would, but think of your pride.

AM: (hugs her) There’s a reason you’re my best friend.

MR: Oh yeah.

AM: (pulls away) Smack him.

KK: (backhands him hard) Mike!

MR: Like it rough, baby?

MM: I like this. Can you incorporate this attitude into your performance?

MR: Absolutely. Wait, am I in college? Are I like 27?

ED: Michael, you’re 35.

MR: Woman, stop depressing me. I mean “me” as in Lex Luthor. With the yacht and the bald and the sexy.

TW: “The Sexy.” It’s one of your online nicknames.

MR: You just made my day. After Kristin did.

KK: I slapped you! Get a dominatrix!

TW: They also call me “The Sexy” too.

AA: But not me.

TW: You get the coveted title of “Adorkable.”

AA: That gets me through the day.

MR: So, going back to me being a student.

TW: Could be MBA.

KK: Maybe Lex is such a self-centered rich boy that he keeps getting kicked out of school.

AM: Wasn’t that, like, the original Lex? That would regress Lex six seasons.

AG: Actually I think Kristin has a very good idea.

KK: (to AM) Shoot! I’m only supposed to use my powers for good. I forgot.

MM: No need to explain it. The cougar plot is too good. Annette…

AoT: Oh, I’ll make sure I’m in top shape. No disappointments here.

TW: Standard seven-year contract. Great job, Welling.

AM: So, just to go through the motions. Clark and Lana. Lex and Lana. Clark and Chloe. Lex and Chloe, maybe.

MR: I’m in.

AM: Kristin, first assignment: Chloe will not be doing Lex after the cougar plotline. Or, it’s my reason for the breakup. Which cannot include the fact that Lex is more in love with Lana. And no STDs.

ED: Two years of Lois and they haven’t gone there.

KK: Stellar point. Al, Miles, sweeties, I don’t think it’s write that Chloe should have a relationship with Lex after his cougar plotline. And if you can’t do that, Chloe should break up with Lex because she finds out about his relationship with the professor.

MM: We’ll do both. Lex and Chloe will get together, but Lex will start seeing Martha secretly. It’ll blow up in his face. The sorrow will lead him to Lana.

AM: Kristin, you screwed it up. Chloe’s being cheated on.

KK: Wasn’t any better for me. Now I’m the rebound girl for both you and Martha.

AoT: What do I teach?

AM: I’m afraid that may not matter. I doubt these dodos will ever show you teaching.

AG: Teaching is boring.

AM: Even though that crucial seduction scene will have to occur within class? Say she’s a poli-sci professor. Wouldn’t her passionate speeches in class about the fundamentals of democracy or the constant struggle between fulfilling the campaign promises and pressure to contributors be the hook that attracts Lex.

AoT: Wow, Alli, you’ve given me direction.

MM: She could give that same speech in her office.

AM: Why in her office?

MM: Then they can have sex on the desk.

AM: Your logic astounds me. One, I didn’t mean for the speech to immediately lead to sexual relations. Rather I was suggesting that her sexually mature character be developed so that it lends credence to Lex’s cougar plot.

AG: I like Al’s way better. Sex on the desk is the way to go. Maybe Lex has come by to ask about class, I don’t know, however college works.

MM: Good idea.

AM: (infuriated) Kristin, new request: It’s Chloe’s entrancing charms that lures in both Clark and Lex. And other boyfriends-of-the-week.

AA: What about me?

AM: Oh, Jimmy doesn’t require any effort.

AA: Hey!

AM: (calms down) My apologies, Aaron. I tell you what: (to KK) Jimmy will hook up with both Chloe and Lois. And his scenes with Lois will often require her to be in her underwear.

KK: I’m sure that’s already in the business plan.

AM: And I won’t speak a word about how Jimmy’s cousin-jumping.

AA: That means a lot.

TW: It means a lot to us all.

ED: Do I get any say in this?

AM: Erica, you’re a tart. You strip down to your skivvies in front of the camera for sport.

TW: (wide-eyed) Can our intimate scene require underwear?

AM: You buy my gym membership and we can have a sheet-only scene.

TW: (eyes widen; he begins to chant) I have a wife, I have a wife, I have a wife…

AM: Oh, and she’s has to be here.

MR: Oh, I just had a naughty thought.

KK: That hardly warrants an announcement.

MR: (to AM) Can we have nakie scenes?

AM: No, Lex-and-Chloe will be on a strict fade-to-black agreement.

MR: (to KK) And us?

KK: No underwear. I’ll allow bare back but no side boob.

MR: (depressed) Uck, artistic. (to ED) And us?

ED: If my agent hadn’t insisted on that stupid no-nudity clause…

AM: Chloe’s a journalism major, right?

MM: I suppose. Why does that matter?

AM: (sarcastic) Yeah, why does it?

TW: Anyway, it’s been an hour. About time to get a phone call about why we can’t do this.

(MM’s cell phone rings)

MM: Hello? Oh, yeah, but… c’mon… like that… seriously… well… damn… what if we… so… got it. (hangs up) Yeah, since we’re in the 8:00 EST time slot, the so-call (with finger quotes) “family time” spot, we can’t do a show that so sex-based.

AM: Seriously? Because a lot of very sexual shows are aired in the early spot.

AG: Well, apparently Dawn’s on some kind of Family “watch list” and we’re catching the brunt of that.

MR: So, I’m thinking pool party.

KK: Michael, we’re in Canada.

MR: Durance has a hot tub.

ED: Durance does have a hot tub. Though we have a strict no-suit policy.

KK: I’m out.

AM: Me, too.

AA: I’m not comfortable in group settings like that.

TW: Jamie’d killed me.

MR: Guys, don’t leave me hanging…

KK: If that’s a double entendre, I swear…

MR: Who has the dirty mind now? C’mon, me, Erica, and Davey boy? No way I’m being part of a Devil’s threeway.

ED: You do realize we’re not actually…

MR: Durance, I thrive on the “not actually.”

AoT: I could be persuaded.

MR: Finally. Someone’s willing to help a bro out. Let’s head out.

(MR leaves with ED and AoT in tow)

KK: You don’t think they’re actually going to…?

AM: Better left unknown. (to TW) Not to freak you out, but you realize that my reluctance was purely about Michael, right?

TW: Um, okay…

AM: Don’t play coy with me, Tommy, I remember you groaning last year about Jamie making you put in a hot tub. I’m just saying… you and Jamie want to invite me and the boy over for some innocent naked fun… we’ll stay open-minded.

KK: Yeah, if it weren’t for my paralyzing fear of ending up on the front of some tabloid, you know I’d be in.

TW: This is all very… enticing… but it’s not gonna happen. For one, my house is back in LA.

AM: Oh, yeah. That’s where Peter is!

TW: Okay, I’ll talk it over with Jamie. Lord knows she’ll get excited at the proposition.

(they leave)

AG: Miles, we should work a hot tub into our next series.

MM: Al, we’ve been talking hot tubs for years. Remember “Thirst”?

AG: It was kind of a waste. Blood and all.

MM: Oh, well, back to the drawing board. You got the Blockbuster card?

AG: Always.

The New Smallville Chronicles

Where the Docs are Looniers than the Inmates

Coupleville
The Dukes of Smallville
Jimmigan's Island
Cheap Gin
Clark & Lana: The New Adventures
Smallvillian Idol
Clark Potter
Somebody Saved by the Bell
New Episode coming soon...

Director's Commentary: Before Smallville decided are their current direction for the seventh season, our favorite producers Al and Miles had a number of brainstorming sessions with the cast about different ideas about how to reinvigorate the show. These are those sessions.

AAI: Episode 108: Samaritan Read-Through

Director’s Commentary: So, we had an eleventh hour cancellation by the network. This makes me especially sad because we were defeated by the very group we were pandering to in the upcoming episode. We wanted to do an episode with Christian themes in it, but because of the content, a small minority nixed it. In all fairness, I had it coming.

Anyway, so luckily, we taped a read-through by the cast. I got the idea from the meta-series Castville. But before we start, I need to introduce you to some of my crew.

Ashley is our costume and makeup department. She is a good friend of mine from Georgia that I hired for her outstanding credentials: she’s neither a professional costume designer nor a makeup artist, therefore freeing some of the already meager budget we’re given.

Alexis is our casting department. I’ve found that she can pull truly outstanding actors for the show despite having no connections when she first started out.

“The crack monkeys”: To save on costs, I’m the head writer of the series, but I employ of writer-colleagues, who I’d name personally, except they tend to come and go, so there’s not exactly what you’d call a concrete list. They also aren’t what you would call “professional” or “trained” writers, though they do a stellar job. Just don’t tell the WGA.

Sonriso is my personal assistant. He’s actually a yellow stress ball with a smiley face on it. He’s pretty useless, as you’ll find out.

~

Creedog: So, here are the scripts.

Allison: These aren’t scripts. They’re outlines.

Creedog: Detailed outlines. With a few scenes written out.

Michael: Yes… but we’re actors. You actually have to write out all the words. And usually gestures and stage movements…

Creedog: Well, I figured since Annette’s finally coming back…

Tom: Wait. You want us to improv? We’re not trained for that! Heck, I was a model before I came to this show!

Creedog: Look, you don’t have to make up your own lines. I’ll feed them to you just before each cut. I just want to try something out.

Sonriso: (a yellow stress ball with a “^_^” printed on him, which Creedog makes talk in a high voice) It’s called procrastinating.

Allison: Chris, can we not make the ball talk? Please. It’s creepy.

Creedog: (incredulously) I don’t have any control of it.

Sam: Okay, let’s take a look at the first scene already.

Creedog: Helen Bryce strolls through stone tunnels. She’s carrying a cardboard box. Enters a chamber which is an abandoned chapel with a big baptismal pool in it.

Michael: This is the religious episode you’ve been hyping, isn’t it?

Creedog: Yeah… so there’s two robed figures. There’s talk about rain filling the basin.

Erica: You’re writing the real lines later, right?

Creedog: Helen says, “Good. I have a present for us.” The two figures squeal.

Sam: Wait, so they’re chicks, right?

Creedog: Yes. One of them says, “Is that how you got that bruise on your neck?” Helen wasn’t aware of it.

Tom: It’s a hickey.

Creedog: Very astute, Mr. Welling. Helen snaps back, “You would know, wouldn’t you?” We see a gibbous moon as Helen comments that it will be full soon. There’s the ritual. We’ll plan it later.

Michael: Have you been doing an inordinate amount of slacking off?

Creedog: Yeah, but there’s a very good reason for it. Next scene is a recap between Lionel and his assistant.

Sam: The hot redhead?

Alexis: Her name’s Christina Hendricks. She was on Firefly.

Kristin: Firefly? Suck-up.

Sonriso: Big suck-up.

Allison: And exactly how did you get Al and Miles to worship you?

Kristin: Honey, that was all genes. (rolls her eyes dejectedly)

Creedog: Next scene, Linda Lake catches Lex doing something naughty.

Michael: (perks up) Ooh, what?

Creedog: We don’t see.

Michael: (scoffs) Because this is a religious episode?

Creedog: Look, I’m not writing Touched By An Angel here. Trust me, you’ll be very excited to see what she saw when we reveal it.

Michael: Patience is not in my nature.

Erica: Anyway, what happens next?

Creedog: Are we killing Linda, Alexis?

Sonriso: She sleeps with the fishes?

Alexis: (flatly) Yeah. She wanted off the show. I wonder if they’re bringing back her reality show.

Allison: (trying to ignore Sonriso) Wouldn’t that be a sign of the apocalypse? Ooh, is there going to be an apocalypse? Like in the finale?

Creedog: (dismissively) Not yet. It should be in cards. Okay, insert random scene about Chloe catching Lana in her room looking for socks.

Kristin: I thought Tina Greer died.

Creedog: It’s Isobel. Didn’t you watch the last episode?

Kristin: That would explain why you had me on wires. Why can’t we bring Tina back?

Allison: Death is kind of permanent.

Tom: Clark came back.

Michael: Lex kinda did.

Kristin: Lana did. And I swear she’d doing it again on Smallville.

Alexis: Plus, Lizzy Caplan has her own show now.

Michael: I thought it got cancelled.

Alexis: Yeah, you’re right.

Creedog: NO!!!

Sonriso: NO!!!

Creedog: Sorry, I liked that show. Okay, this happens the next day. We cut to Clark and Chloe in bed together.

Allison: In bed, in bed?

Creedog: Yes.

Allison: Oh, yeah, I finally get to hit that! ‘Bout time.

Tom: (rolls his eyes; picks up the script) “I love you.”

Allison: “I love you, too. You seem confused.” What?

Creedog: I’ll explain. Read.

Tom: “It’s just… I kinda wish I had said so before we… uh…” Clark still can’t say “have sex,” huh?

Michael: Not even a nice euphemism? Bump uglies? Do the hanky-panky? The horizontal mambo?

Erica: Okay, Rosenbaum, what’s going on?

Michael: Get jiggy wit it? (dances in his seat)

Creedog: (clears throat)

Tom: One question, if this is supposed to be a religious episode, why are Clark and Chloe engaging in premarital sex?

Creedog: The rest of the scene would have a frank discussion. Start again on page 5.

Tom: “We kinda forgot… um… protection.”

Allison: She smirks. “You forgot. I was fully prepared.” She shakes a pill case.

Tom: X-ray vision squint. “There’s only one pill missing.” He grins.

Allison: Chloe grabs her head.

Tom: “The headache excuse only works before.” Go, Clark!

Allison: I hit him with a pillow. “Shut up.” Give him the needle box. One question, you don’t expect me to be naked in this post-coital scene, do you?

Creedog: Didn’t I tell you? We’re moving to Cinemax.

Michael: (à la Quagmire) Oh, yeah. Giggity-giggity-goo.

Allison: Funny. Chris, you promised me after “Treasured.”

Kristin: Geez, you’re worse than me. (everyone looks at her) You know, someone else could have made the comment. (shoves Michael)

Creedog: Ashley, what’s she wearing?

Ashley: (flatly) I have a very nice yellow tank picked out. It’s tight, and it shows your cleavage and midriff.

Allison: This is your dedication to the religious community?

Creedog: This isn’t 7^th Heaven, okay? It’s a mature discussion episode.

Allison: With tight, cleavage-bearing tank tops.

Tom: Dare I ask what I’m wearing?

Ashley: Guess.

Tom: I’m guessing I’ve gotta spend a lot of time at the gym this week. The situps alone will kill me. (grabs script again) I look concerned.

Allison: “Don’t tell me you were waiting for marriage, ‘cause you kinda already paid full admission to that show.” Why does Chloe use the strangest metaphors?

Creedog: Don’t look at me. It wasn’t my writers who put that quirk in.

Tom: Next, you’ve got a little note to yourself telling you to finish the scene.

Creedog: Hey, we’ll wing it.

Erica: Lois scene! I save a man on the street. From what?

Creedog: (looks at the script) Damn good question. Funny story, actually, I had this genius idea that would echo back to the Parable of the Good Samaritan. Unfortunately, this was on a Friday night on half-price margarita night. Needless to say, I’ve only got scraps. By film time, I’ll have it reconstructed. I know the victim’s a doctor and it plays into your medical story arc. Do we have an actor yet?

Alexis: Yeah, Aaron Shust wanted the part.

Allison: Who?

Creedog: He’s a Contemporary Christian singer-songwriter.

Kristin: Interesting. How’d this happen?

Creedog: Well, there’s a church service scene coming up later in the episode. We thought it’d be cool if we got some Christian artists to play cameos as the choir.

Ashley: And Aaron Shust happens to be a friend of mine from Georgia, so easy to contact.

Alexis: And because of that, it created a snowball effect, and we’ve got quite a few artists interested. We even managed to nab Steven Curtis Chapman.

Annette: (from the door) I’ve heard of him.

Creedog: Welcome, Annette, you’re just in time.

Annette: For what?

Creedog: I have no idea.

Ashley: Chris was just mentioning how his father-in-law’s going to be on the show.

Creedog: (all heads turn to Chris) She’s being facetious. Long story short, Steven Curtis Chapman is a huge adoption advocate—as am I—and, well, I happened to mention his foundation in Future.

Kristin: You should make that into a movie.

Allison: You don’t appear in that book. Lana’s dead throughout the whole thing. You’re entire part would be being photographed.

Kristin: (sweetly) I know.

Sam: Pete’s the hero of that book. I’m game.

Tom: I haven’t read it.

Allison: You wear the suit. You fly. You make out with me.

Tom: I am not doing that.

Allison: I’m offended.

Tom: I’m married. And it was the other two things. Plus, Alli, we’re making out in this episode. (holds up script)

Creedog: At least somebody remembers why we’re here. Anyway, in the next scene…

Ashley: Finish the story! (smirks)

Creedog: So, anyway, because I raised awareness and donated 25% of the profits to the foundation, I was invited to the Dove Awards. They were giving out plaques to generous donors who gave money to various charities related to the gospel music world.

Ashley: His was presented by Miss Emily Chapman, Steven’s daughter, who was very cute and into Christopher.

Creedog: (annoyed) Moving on…

Alexis: I got her and Shaoey for Pete’s part.

Creedog: (brow furrows and reads the script)

Sam: (taking a cue, skims the script) Hey, where’s my part? Am I in this episode?

Creedog: Yeah, but… it’s not fleshed out.

Sam: You know, pushing Pete to the background is what made me leave the first time.

Creedog: Look, your part was clearly defined for the beginning of the show, and it’s clearly defined for the end of the season, but right now, we’re experimenting with Pete’s role. Lois’s medical arc just took off creatively before Pete. We’re not giving up on Pete, and you’ll want to be around for the second season.

Sam: You’re a smoother talker than I am. (punches Creedog in the shoulder; he winces)

Alexis: (bringing the attention back to her) I, uh, talked with Emily on the phone. We’ve got something hashed out. It’s romantic. (off Chris’s blank look; smiles) I’m kidding, of course. Her and Shaoey will appear and the subplot reflects back to another Bible story.

Allison: Well, I’m glad you’ve got it figured out.

Creedog: I was busy. Alexis needed my connections, and I had to do a lot of script-writing on airplane napkins. So, next scene, Clark’s going to save a minister from a fire meta who looks like a demon.

Michael: Righteous!

Creedog: So… Alexis…?

Alexis: We got Aiden Quinn.

Creedog: Yes!

Erica: And this guy is…?

Alexis: The actor who portrayed the priest on The Book of Daniel.

Michael: That got cancelled after four episodes because of religious controversy. You’re tempting fate, you know that?

Creedog: I like to live on the edge. Anyway, it turns out the fire meta isn’t actually evil. Just terrified of his powers. After superbreathing him, Clark finds a very religious but now disfigured man. Anyway, after putting our meta in a half-full baptismal pool—

Kristin: I love the repeated imagery.

Creedog: Thanks. (looks at the script and reacts with surprise) So, he and Clark have a talk. Jesus allusions. Blah, blah, blah.

Erica: So, you’ve basically written no lines? (to Ashley) How into this chick is he?

Ashley: All I know is when I left the ceremony he was dancing with her and he did not get back to the hotel until like two in the morning.

Sonriso: Ooh!

Creedog: (gives his stress ball a dirty look and turns to Ashley) Give me a break, Ash; it was just an awards ceremony.

Michael: (to Ashley) Why were you there?

Ashley: Chris can’t get a date to save his life, so I agree to be his arm candy whenever he needs it.

Sam: I can’t see why. (looks Ashley up and down)

Ashley: My boyfriend is understanding, but not that understanding.

(Sam scoots back)

Allison: (insinuating) How did you know what time he got back to the hotel?

Ashley: We shared adjacent rooms. And I’m a night owl.

Creedog: Why do these things always get off-track? Later, Clark asks Chloe to go to church with him.

Michael: How peachy. Maybe they’ll get dunked together.

Creedog: “Dunked”? You mean baptized?

Michael: I’m Jewish. Do you know what the Jewish coming-of-age ceremony is called?

Creedog: You mean bar mitzvah? (Michael is silent)

Tom: Shouldn’t Clark already be baptized?

Annette: You never saw the Kents go to church.

Creedog: I’m going to take executive privilege here and say that Clark is baptized. The Kents are Methodists.

Michael: Well, you know what they say about those Methodists. (awkward silence) Yeah, I don’t know.

Creedog: Chloe is going to cheerfully agree.

Allison: Really?

Creedog: Look, she’s not going to have some fall-to-her-knees salvation experience. She’s not scared of the church. She’s just gonna say that it’s been years since she’s been and follow it up with a snarky comment.

Michael: “She makes some kind of snarky comment.” That’s her entire role in a nutshell.

Allison: I’m going to kick your ass, Rosenbaum. Both these shows would go seriously downhill without me.

Erica: It’s not like your presence is keeping them super-buoyant.

Sam: I could say something right now that would get me slapped so hard.

Allison: I have a very dedicated fan base!

Erica: Whoa, Alli, don’t get your panties in a wad.

Sam: I could say something right now that would get me slapped so hard.

Erica: I’m sorry, girl, it was meant to be a comment on the popularity of our shows as a whole.

Creedog: What did you guys have for breakfast? So, we’re moving on to the church scene.

Sam: Immediately?

Creedog: Actually, no, we’re gonna have updates on both Lois and Pete’s storylines. We need to kill some time before Sunday morning.

Sam: A Pete scene to “kill time”?

Creedog: Sam, when I get around to writing your scenes, you’ll be heroic. You’ll be stalwart!

Sam: (pauses) Okay, I’m easy. You won me back. Go on; try to please Erica.

Erica: What?

Sam: Well, you’re being pushed to the sidelines, too. Don’t you care?

Erica: (after a moment of thought) Can I wear a hospital gown?

Creedog: What?

Erica: ‘Cause, you know, I’ve got blood on me after saving the guy, right?

Creedog: …Sure.

Erica: So, I’ve got to change? Well, I’m at the hospital, so all they have for me to put on is a hospital gown, right?

Creedog: That’s a tired 90s sitcom joke. What about scrubs?

Erica: Baby, I don’t look good in scrubs. Plus, if Chloe gets to be naked, so should Lois.

Allison: (harried, to Erica) Chloe’s not going to be naked. (directly, to Creedog) Chloe is not going to be naked.

Sonriso: A travesty in and of itself.

(Allison gives a dirty look at Creedog)

Creedog: (to Allison) Sorry. (to Erica) Fine. The network wants more scantily-clad bimbos anyway.

Erica: Thanks.

Kristin: You’re not going to get mad at him for insinuating that you’re a bimbo?

Erica: Whatever. It makes all the working out worth it. (thinks) Hold it, what’s this guy who playing the doctor gonna look like?

Creedog: Alexis?

Alexis: (holds up a picture of Aaron Shust)

Erica: (with moderate appreciation) That’ll do. So, he can sing, too?

Ashley: (with too much enthusiasm) Yeah. (clears her throat) But my opinion’s biased. Oh, and he’s married.

Erica: Come to think of it, so am I.

Michael: (makes cricket noises)

Creedog: Anyway, we’ll finally get to the church scene. Clark comes in his “Clark Kent” getup.

Kristin: Jeans and flannel shirt?

Allison: You forgot the hideous red jacket.

Tom: Hey, that thing’s comfortable.

Creedog: No, the blue suit and glasses.

Kristin: Careful, we’re slouching toward Metropolis.

(long silence)

Kristin: It’s a literary reference. C’mon!

Allison: I’ve not read it. What’s it about?

Kristin: It’s called Slouching Toward Bethlehem, and I kinda didn’t read it either.

Sonriso: I don’t know what just happened, and I don’t care.

Michael: (to Creedog) You do realize you’re not a ventriloquist?

Creedog: Yeah. (lays the stress ball back on the table)

Annette: Hey, look, Martha! What’s she do?

Creedog: She’s a state senator.

Annette: In Metropolis?

Creedog: Well, no, she work in Wichita, but let’s say she happens to be in town.

Annette: Is she going to do anything?

Creedog: Not yet. But… Sonriso, make a note. Develop a plot line for Martha. (writes it down himself)

Annette: You were itching to get me back!

Creedog: Well, you’re a popular character. Don’t worry; we’ll have you doing important stuff with your senatorial duties. Maybe use Lionel?

Michael: You’ve already got Lionel interacting with Lex in every show. John’ll start getting more screen time than Lana.

Kristin: (sarcastically) Oh, what a tragedy.

Allison: Kristin, you’ve not appeared in the episode so far.

Kristin: I hardly noticed.

Creedog: My mistake. You had a scene with Chloe where she was asking if you could cover for her Sunday morning. It was going to lead into another Isobel-does-crafty-things montage and more Lexana fluff.

Kristin: Can’t I be businessy in this episode?

Creedog: Well, no clients, no businessy Lana.

Kristin: So, unless Archangel Investigations is hired to take out the meta, my role is witch-possessed love interest. I might as well only be on Smallville.

Creedog: Alright, let’s say there’re more cockroaches. If we need filler, we can have someone go take them out.

Kristin: This is nothing but appeasement. Lana’s supposed to being going kick-ass! Lana fu!

Creedog: Alright, we’ll start adding scenes where Lex trains Lana in weaponry in preparation of her doing field work.

Kristin: I can see this leading to sword innuendos.

Creedog: Of course it will. You’re hard to please. Anyway, back to wherever the heck we were. Minister gives sermon on Clark saving the church, more Jesus analogies, ties it to being Christ-like in our daily lives.

Michael: Isn’t this exactly what he did on The Book of Daniel?

Creedog: Ruffling feathers. So he also mentions there’s going to be a construction workday afterwards and he hopes people will come back to help rebuild the back of the sanctuary. Afterwards, while Clark and Chloe are going through the line, it’s obvious the minister recognizes him.

Sam: You gonna name this guy?

Creedog: I’ll do some research to find some peer of Daniel Webster.

Allison: You have no shame. (looks at the script) Clark and Chloe talk afterwards?

Creedog: Chloe comments on the Jesus parallels.

Michael: You’re really milking this.

Creedog: It’s gonna be in all three plots.

Tom: Hey, lines! “Do you believe in God?”

Allison: “I don’t see why I shouldn’t. I’ve believed in stranger things than an all-mighty, all-powerful, omnipresent being. At least this one… ‘insert Jor-El reference here’?”

Creedog: Ooh, gotta work on that.

Tom: “And Jesus?”

Allison: “You rose from the dead, too.”

Tom: Clark looks humble.

Allison: “Don’t shy away. I mean, we’re talking about a guy with supernatural powers. He lives his life for others, protecting the weak and the sick. A friend to all. A man who works for peace but isn’t afraid to fight. Who sacrifices himself.”

Tom: “You’re not calling me the Messiah, are you?”

Allison: “Nah. Don’t really want the Mary Magdalene stigma. Falsely accused of being a prostitute.”

Tom: “You’ve been reading The Da Vinci Code again, haven’t you?”

Allison: “It’s a good book!” Now we’re going to mention The Da Vinci Code? You’re insane.

Sonriso: He’s got a talking stress ball. This surprises you?

Creedog: Later, Clark’s going to come by to help with the reconstruction. He’s going to get some coffee with Rev. Webster. They’ll be a discussion about religiosity, aliens, premarital sex, and salvation. The minister makes a comment about a superhuman man with carpentry skills. He makes the joke that he hopes Clark isn’t the Messiah, because if he has a girlfriend, it puts all those Gnostics in the right.

Michael: You’re kinda repeating all your jokes.

Creedog: (meekly) I know. We’re going to resolve the Lois storyline and Pete storyline.

Erica: Lois get to hook up with the guy?

Creedog: No.

Erica: Come on.

Creedog: Not gonna happen. Lois is getting a boyfriend at the end of this season. If it makes you feel better, I’ll arbitrarily add eye candy to your future plots.

Erica: I like appeasement. (Kristin rolls her eyes)

Sam: Is Pete going to get the girl?

Alexis: With who’ve we’re now got cast?

Ashley: (sing-song) Like Chris’ll go for that.

Creedog: You guys are terrible.

Sam: Pete’s gotta do something!

Annette: (blandly) And Martha.

Creedog: (pauses, and then looks pensively back and forth from Martha to Sam; suddenly leaps out of his chair) THAT’S IT!

Allison: Someone slip something into his espresso this morning?

Ashley: (matter-of-factly) He doesn’t drink coffee.

Creedog: (talking quickly) Sam, we’ve got Pete’s law-police storyline. The crack monkeys and I have been racking our brains for months trying to figure out how to introduce the storyline and give it credence. We wanted him to act as the liaison between Archangel I and the police, but since we made some of the police corrupt, we’d painted ourselves into a corner. We’re going to have Pete and Martha team up. Martha’s status will give Pete the leeway to strong-arm the cops. It solves everything! Martha gets to play an active albeit background role in protecting Clark and the gang. Pete has a strong role outside his AAI duties and it echoes his role from the comics. (punches the air)

Sam: Okay, not exactly going to get on board with that kind of excitement, but I like it. (grins, then frowns) But I want eye candy, too.

Annette: (scoffs with offence)

Sam: Oh, Annette, you are a hot babe of highest magnitude, but Pete Ross and Martha Kent? That’s even creepier than Mionel.

Annette: I happen to find John Glover very… charismatic.

Creedog: Alexis?

Alexis: Oh, we’ll give Martha a hot secretary.

Creedog: It can be a Peter Parker/Betty Grant relationship.

Sam: What’s that mean?

Creedog: It means you get to flirt with her a lot. She’ll be uninterested at first, but you’ll wear her down.

Sam: That’s what I’m talking about. Who’s gonna play her?

Creedog: We just created her.

Alexis: Pretty actresses are a dime a dozen. I’ll make you a lineup.

Sam: You gonna bring them here? (can’t suppress a grin)

Alexis: A lineup of head shots. We’ll bring your favorite down.

Pete: (jumps up and walks behind Alexis) Can I see now?

Alexis: Give me a second. (opens up a notebook and flips through pages)

Lana: This has been bugging me. Clark and Chloe know about Lex and Lana, right?

Creedog: Yeah.

Lana: Why are they saying anything?

Creedog: We’re still not sure how for it to come out. Plus, Ostroff’s been on my back about the lack of “secrets and lies” on our show.

Michael: That’s Al and Miles’s territory. I say let them have it.

Kristin: Amen.

Creedog: How poetic.

Sam: (to Alexis) What about her?

Alexis: Taylor Cole? It’s a good pick.

Sam: What’s this note mean? “Diana”?

Alexis: It means she’s one of about a dozen actresses we’re considering for the part of Diana Prince, should she ever appear on the show. It also means she’s probably pretty tall.

Sam: (deflates) Thanks for the heads up. Ooh, who this filly?

Alexis: Alycia Purrott. Canadian actress. Easy to get over here. And… look at the height. (points at the page)

Sam: I’ll look normal-sized!

Creedog: (who’s shorter than Sam) You are normal sized!

Alexis: (shows Creedog the picture) What do you think?

Creedog: I think we have a winner. If she’s short, why didn’t her name come up in our Maddanei search?

Alexis: ‘Cause I’m a bad casting director.

Allison: Was Maddanei…?

Ashley: The character based on me? Yeah.

Alexis: Why don’t I get a character based on me?

Creedog: Find an attress to play yourself and we’ll develop a part for her.

(Alexis starts to peruse her book)

Creedog: Let’s recap. Everyone’s got a part.

Tom: Yeah.

Allison: Mm-hmm.

Sam: Yep.

Erica: Theoretically.

Kristin: Kind of.

Michael: Ditto that.

Creedog: We’ve got Isobel development. And some Lexana. Lex will have his obligatory one or two scenes with Lionel.

Martha: Um…

Creedog: I’ll write you a very nice scene with Sam where Pete and Martha start their business relationship. There’ll be a generous lead-in where Martha fights for some noble cause with the legislators.

Martha: Yawn.

Creedog: I’ve gotta appease you, too, huh? What if you’re defending of said noble cause involves some nice sharp-tongued verbal wordplay with your opponents?

Martha: Male opponents? (giggles evilly) That’ll do.

Creedog: Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m behind on my plot.

Sonriso: It’s a wrap.

(Creedog leaves)

Kristin: Seriously, what’s with the ball?

Ashley: I don’t try to understand Christopher.

Alexis: Me neither.

Allison: So, this Emily…?

Ashley: I’ll tell you all about here. Don’t tell Chris this ‘cause he’ll never get another script done, but I know a great place for cheap margaritas…

~

Director’s Commentary: So, we’ve hit the end of the road. It’s kind of strange including my director’s commentary when you’ve basically sat through some director’s commentary, but whatever.

I’d like to thank Jeremy Camp, Steven Curtis Chapman, Emily Chapman, Shaoey Chapman, Aaron Shust, and Aiden Quinn for agreeing to appear in this episode, and sorry that it never got made. Also thanks to all the artists who had an interest in appearing. Mark Schultz, I am greatly disappointed you didn’t come and play our choir director.

And, Emily, I had a great time at the Dove Awards. By the way, next time you’re in the Pacific Northwest, give me a call. Ashley knows this great Mexican place that she refuses to tell me about until I can get a fourth for a double date.

Before the cancellation, the cast, crew, and I got together to map out the rest of the season, as the WGA got on my case for using a non-guild-approved writing system. It’ll be out soon.

^_^ - Really, if Creedog had let me run the show, we’d’ve gone twenty season. But, alas, The Chloe is Hot Show, Guest Starring Clark Kent and Lana Whats-her-name wasn’t the direction the CW was looking to go.

Season 1 Planning Session coming soon…

©2007 Godeerc VanDrey Enterprises, Inc. Created Monday, May, 14, 2007. Finished Friday, December 28, 2007.